FreedomSteps Blog

Wait. Don’t you just hate that word sometimes? In our fast-paced society full of fast-food restaurants, drive through ATMs, high-speed internet connections, text messaging and microwave ovens, even ‘instant’ pudding seems slow these days. I think the ‘art of waiting’ is being totally lost on us and our culture as we expect immediate results and become more and more impatient with processes that just take time.

There is nothing ‘instant’ about finding purpose in life. It may take time to delve deep into your thoughts and find where your passions lie. As the world around us goes faster and faster it becomes harder and harder to slow ourselves down and allow patience for anything. We can even be impatient about waiting for our future to happen. We want it all NOW! The younger the woman the more ‘presto’ she expects her world to be because that is the only world she has ever known. But when something comes up which forces her to wait, she finally begins to realize some things just take good ‘old-fashioned’ time.

Waiting doesn’t mean we just sit around and watch TV, twiddling our thumbs until our problems are solved. Not at all! Waiting is hard work and it takes conscious, intelligent effort! Some of the hardest waiting we will ever do is waiting on God. We never know how long we have to wait on Him which is what makes it seem agonizing! We can’t just ‘click’ a button and force God to make things happen in life and that can be so frustrating! David knew of God’s promises that lay on the other side of the wait and in Psalm 27 he wrote:

Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.

Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

The art of waiting means we can begin to rest in knowing…some of the best things in life take courage and patience as we wait and give it a bit more time.

We have all used the word ‘perseverance’ but what does that really mean? Is it just rolling our eyes instead of swearing as we patiently wait for a slow internet connection? Is it not giving in to the temptation to honk our horn at the old lady who sits through a green light ahead of us? Is it being kind to the 16 year old kid at McDonalds despite the fact that it took more than 4 minutes to get our Big Mac and fries? Ummmm…no! Perseverance indicates endurance in relation to circumstances which may not be pleasant and may last a while. It also means to ‘remain under’, ‘bearing up under’ and my favorite ‘a quality of character that does not allow one to succumb under trial.’ Sometimes we may have to persevere for longer than we would like. Some things just take time.

Perseverance is often a quality which is necessary in order to stick with the process of overcoming anything. Perseverance may come naturally but most often, it is learned through the heat of trials. A woman might have to persevere through loneliness, isolation and fear. She may have to persevere through relationship struggles or feelings of extreme frustration, unworthiness and failure. Sometimes it is necessary to persevere through opening old wounds and allowing them to heal again. Then there is the perseverance while going through physical pain while battling untruths that make you want to give up. We may have to persevere for months or it may take years. Sometimes it may seem to be taking forever, but you must know…sometimes it just takes a little more time.

It seems crazy doesn’t it? I mean come on! To most people this ‘persevering’ stuff looks like lunacy! Wouldn’t it be easier just to give up than to put yourself through the torture of waiting? What could possibly drive the mind of a woman to persevere?

The answer is hope! Hope is not just wishing to get something we would like to obtain. The hope of a woman who perseveres through fiery trials runs deep. This deeper hope is the concept of a positive outlook toward an expected end! The main underlying factor toward this type of hope is belief…belief in your goal, belief in yourself and a belief there is a Strength deep within you to help you through.

“But those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Perseverance. Character. Hope. Patience. Belief. Strength. All positive attributes – and all produced through the art of waiting. Some things just take time.

Waiting can be hard, it can be very hard! But with the right attitude, the art of waiting can teach us many of life’s toughest lessons in the process. That is if we let it.

I hope you all make the most of your time.

Picture your life as a journey and you are on a road that has been chosen just for you.  The road winds and turns and goes up hills and down hills.  Sometimes it is pleasant and warm and other times a cold wind can be whipping across your path.  There are potholes and hurdles and obstacles that block the road but you take them in stride and somehow find the strength to get past each one and keep moving forward.  Sometimes there are detours taking us on circuitous routes but
you still seem to end up farther on your journey than you were before.

Then one day you come to a wall.  It looms ominously before you, casting a shadow right in the path you know you are to follow.  There you stand, shivering and cold below the wall, staring up wondering how you can ever pass.
There are no detours, no holes in the wall and no doors to pass through.  The options are few; either climb the wall or take it apart brick by brick.  The task seems immense but you realize there is no other way.

I may be dating myself here, but I’d like to share the lyrics to a song that helped me identify one of the walls in my life.  It was written in the late 1970’s and was made famous by the rock group “Kansas”.  If you get a chance to listen to it I encourage you to do so but the lyrics alone are powerful enough and speak for themselves.

 The Wall by Kansas 

I’m woven in a fantasy, I can’t believe the things I see

The path that I have chosen now has led me to a wall

And with each passing day I feel a little more like something dear was lost

It rises now before me, a dark and silent barrier between

All I am and all that I would ever want to be

It’s just a travesty, towering

Marking off the boundaries my Spirit would erase.

To pass beyond is what I seek

I fear that I may be too weak

And those are few who’ve seen it through to glimpse the other side

The Promised-land is waiting like a maiden who is soon to be a bride

The moment is a masterpiece, the weight of indecision’s in the air

It’s standing there, the symbol and the sum of all that’s me

It’s just a travesty, towering

Blocking out the light and blinding me

I want to see.

Gold and diamonds cast a spell

It’s not for me I know it well

The treasures that I seek are waiting on the other side

There’s more that I can measure in the treasure of the Love that I can find

And though it’s always been with me

I must tear down the wall and let it be

All I am and all that I was ever meant to be

In harmony

Shining true and smiling back at all who wait to cross

There is no loss.

Oh yes, I have had “walls” in my life and to tell you the truth there were many times I would just bump into the wall and turn around and walk away because I didn’t want to face it.  I walked backward on my path trying to find a detour around this wall but every time I was led right back to it and had to face the wall all over again.  How frustrating!  I just wanted it gone but it stayed there until I faced the reality of having to climb it, or take it apart brick by brick.

The bricks in our walls can be mortared together with various cement such as bitterness, guilt, depression, failure, shame, frustration or loneliness.  The wall itself can take on the guise of a new job, marriage, divorce, an illness, going back to school, a hard relationship, buying a house, having children, addiction….and the list goes on.  So what does your wall look like?  Is it too tall to even see the top?  Does it seem like you are doomed to forever live on the cold side of the wall?  Some of you may be in various stages of tearing down your wall while others are still standing at the bottom in it’s shadow looking up and wondering how it can ever be tackled.  Whatever stage you are at, I pray you will have the strength to get beyond this barrier and see the light shining through on the other side.  As long as you are continuing forward…there is no loss.

There is one other aspect I’ve learned about tearing down walls:  it is a little easier when you have friends to help you.  The support of a Life Coach working beside you will help take some of the load off as you remove those bricks.  Some days will be harder than others but at least you know that when the wall finally tumbles down you will have a friend to cheer you on.  That in itself is very encouraging to know. One-by-one…brick-by-brick…step-by-step…freedom can be found.
And thanks be to Jesus who lays His cross down over the rubble in the path of our life so we can use it as a bridge to walk from our past to our future.

A while back I received an email that  touched my heart deeply.  It awakened questions in me that had been laying dormant my whole life.  Questions like:

• When is enough ‘ENOUGH’!?

• Is there a ‘happily ever after’?

• Where can security truly be found?

• Am I living a life of integrity?

• Is it ok to say ‘no’?

• Can I live a thankful life?

• Am I a woman of courage?

This email just showed up in my inbox one  day and helped me change the way I viewed life.  I have no idea who wrote this piece and therefore I have no author to thank so I will direct my thanks toward heaven and give praise to the Author who provides all the information we will ever need.  I hope you enjoy ‘The Awakening’.

The Awakening 

A time comes in every woman’s life when in the midst of her fears and insanity she stops fighting, avoiding and struggling and cries out, “Enough!”  And when she blinks back the tears, she sees the world through new eyes.  This…is her Awakening.

She now comes to terms with the fact that any guarantee of ‘happily ever after’ must begin with her and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. She learns the importance of loving and championing herself and in the process a sense of new-found confidence is born of self-worth.

 She learns to stop complaining, judging and blaming and she stands on her own to take care of herself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of reliance on God.

She realizes that the view she had of herself and the world is the result of the messages and opinions that society ingrained into her psyche.  She begins to open up to new worlds, fresh ideas and different points of view as she allows herself grace and begins to redefine who she is by who she was made to be.

She learns that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which she builds her life.  She learns to set boundaries and to stop working so hard at putting her feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring her needs.  She learns that she alone is in control of her body and that it is a temple to be cared for and treated with respect and dignity. She begins to believe that life was meant
to be lived in abundance and when she asks, she’ll truly receive.  She learns that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.  She learns to achieve success she needs direction, discipline and perseverance and that it is ok to risk asking for help.  She learns the only thing she must truly fear is the loss of faith in her Sovereign Hope.  She begins to step into and through her fears because she learns the Power within her provides courage born of faith.

She learns to be thankful and to take comfort in the many simple things she used to take for granted.  Slowly, she begins to take responsibility for her life and she makes herself a promise to never settle for less than her heart’s desire.  She makes it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, to stay strong and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.  Finally, with courage in her heart and God by her side, she takes a deep breath and begins to live the life she was meant to live.

Being honest with yourself might just be one of the hardest things you ever do but asking the hard questions and answering truthfully can bring you to incredible places of new insight.  May you have the courage to ask the tough stuff as you overcome your fears and put into practice the Freedom Steps that will define your future.  Welcome…to your Awakening.

(The original content of “The Awakening” has been shortened and edited)

Words have always been a way for me to express the deepest  places in my soul.    God inspires me through His creation, through other people and especially through His Word.  The life journey I have been on is filled with stories of how God as redeemed many broken places.  I am taking my own  Freedom Steps from the past to my future and I’ve learned incredible lessons along the way.  His inspiration has sparked my own and I can only pray that any words I write will touch places deep within a  woman to motivate her forward and create a space to find personal intimacy with Christ.

A Heart To Win

Throughout history sporting events have been the epitome of learning about character, heart and perseverance.  Even if you are not very sports-minded you can all think of a great sports movie you’ve seen that tells of the main character’s fight to overcome seemingly impossible odds. We all want to root for the ‘underdog’ who seems to be struggling with himself just as much as he is struggling against his opponent.  Identifying with the underdog tugs at our hearts because often their story imitates not only their life, it imitates ours.

My son is now 17 and he is just about the  hardest working kid I know.  One day I was in his room and I  found a list of 44 athletic slogans from famous players and coaches he copied down for inspiration.  As I read through them I couldn’t help but think every one of them could be applied to  life coaching.  Unfortunately he did not write down the authors of the quotes so I cannot give them credit, but here are a few of the quotes which struck me the most.

“Fear is your best or your worst
enemy.  It’s like fire.  If you can control it, it can cook for
you; it can heat your home.  But if you can’t control it, it
will burn everything around you and destroy you.”

Believe it or not, fear is not always a bad  thing and when it is controlled, it can push you forward.  Fear of loss or fear of failure (again if controlled) can serve to push you a little further until you learn to use success as a motivator instead of fear.  However unrealistic and irrational fear will only serve to keep you stuck, afraid to look forward and terrified to look back.  Don’t let fear use you – use it!

“There is no room for negative
thoughts.  THINK POSITVE!!”

A key aspect of life coaching is the renewing of the mind.  Negative thoughts and untruths about ourselves and our situation can become so much a part of us that we don’t know how to untangle fact from fiction.  It is important to identify negative thoughts and start to think positively.  Dispelling the lies from the past and replacing them with truth is essential to moving forward into a more confident, courageous and power-packed life.

“The real glory is in being knocked
to your knees and then coming back.  It’s not whether you get
knocked down; it’s whether you get back up.”

It seems that at some time in everyone’s life there is a ‘knockdown’ moment where we just want to give up.  I have so much admiration for people who have been knocked down but have gotten back up again.  I call this the AHA! moment.  This is the moment when a person finally realizes they are better than their opponent (whatever that may be) and they will win the fight to define who they are.  Getting knocked down hurts but no one ever regrets mustering the courage to come back to their feet to fight again.  A life coach can be in your corner to help you spark a comeback.

“Life’s battles don’t always go to
the stronger or the faster man.  But sooner or later the man who
wins is the man who thinks he can.”

The battle of the mind is sometimes the hardest battle to overcome especially if we’ve been indoctrinated into a negative mindset.  Persevering means not only getting through the action steps to achieve your goal, it also means knowing the battle can be won before ever stepping onto the ‘playing field’.  Just like in athletics, set yourself up for success by telling yourself. “I can win!” and really mean it.  There may be some defeats along the way but revel in the small victories instead of dwelling on the setbacks.  “As a ‘woman’ thinks, so ‘she’ is”

“Work will win when wishing won’t”

No amount of life coaching will be effective if you are not willing to complete some action steps to move forward.  Hoping progress will happen without putting in the effort won’t get the job done.  No athlete achieves success without consistent practice and a conscious effort to better themselves.  It is not always easy but often the best things in life lie on the other side of a little hard work.

“Basketball doesn’t build character;
it reveals it.”

….and so does learning more about yourself.  A woman’s character – either good or bad – can be revealed to her through life coaching.  If you come across a good character trait, hold on to it!  If you reveal a bad one, make a mental note to work on it.  Developing even more positive character is just one of the great side benefits of achieving your goal through life coaching.

“Pain is temporary.  It may last a
minute, an hour, a day or a year but eventually it will
subside.  If you quite however, it lasts forever.  Never, never,
never give up!”

Sometimes life is hard and pain is an inevitable part of the scenario.  This pain can be physical, emotional, spiritual or all the above and if left unchecked it can rule a person’s life.  Staying consistent and focusing effort forward is hard during painful times but it does help to know that the vast majority of pain in any form is temporary. In my experience I have seen people give up too soon, never even realizing they may be on the brink of a major breakthrough. Hang in there even when the going gets tough.  Never, never, never give up.

I  have to say that my son is one of my greatest inspirations.  He’s had his moments of sitting the bench, injuries, pain, struggles, knockdowns and defeats but these have helped develop who he is every bit as much as the victories he has enjoyed.  Whether he wins or loses on the court or the playing field will always take a back seat to the character he reveals while he’s on it.

On the back of my son’s door hangs his own slogan written in his own handwriting.  He sees it every morning as he starts his day.  When I see it, I get a lump in my throat because it reminds me that his integrity has been forged through pain.  It simply says…

“Let no one outwork you today.”

‘Life’ is a playing field many people can win on but attitude will highly determine how effectively ‘the game’ will be played.

You have a Play Book, sports equipment, teammates and fans, and life coaching can help you develop a great game plan!  You have everything you need to succeed and the heart to win beats within you.